


We Haven't Changed

by Iron_Aura



Series: Making Up For Forgotten Years [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Drabble, Fluff, Hesitant and unsure Bucky, I guess a tiny bit of angst bc Bucky, Kissing, M/M, Rekindling of an old relationship, Set during Civil War, Sure and comforting Steve, touch starved bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-21 13:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18703417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iron_Aura/pseuds/Iron_Aura
Summary: Steve was asking if Bucky knew him.The answer was yes. But Bucky wasn't sure if he should say that. Things weren't the same anymore...





	We Haven't Changed

**Author's Note:**

> After the bullshit that was the ending of Endgame, I felt the need to write this for myself and everyone else.
> 
> Fuck things up all you want, Russos'. You can pry these two from my cold dead hands.
> 
> This is pretty rough around the edges, but I'm pretty happy with it.

"Do you know me?"

Bucky wasn't sure how to respond to that. Something deep in his heart and gut told him to say yes. But his head told him no; He didn't need to fuck up Steve's life anymore than he already had... 

It had hurt, even then, when his mind had barely begun to right itself out. When Steve had said it, and suddenly he remembered. He didn't remember much, but he remembered enough. He remembered how much Steve meant to him, and that was why he'd left. 

He'd nearly killed Steve that day. 

And it had hurt to leave him behind, on the shore of that riverbank, unsure if Steve was going to survive. He only learned much later that Steve was indeed alright. And he'd been so relieved. 

He'd been putting his head back together ever since then. Remembered slowly all the things he and Steve had shared. Remembered all the years they stood by each other. He even cherished the memories of the not so pretty things they'd been through. He even kept a journal of everything, so he'd never forget again; To make things easier to remember on his bad days. 

And right then, Steve was holding that journal. And Bucky wasn't sure how much Steve had read, if anything. He was asking Bucky if he recognized him... So perhaps he hadn't read anything at all. 

Bucky stared at Steve with a somber look for a long moment. Then, "You're Steve... You were my best friend..."

"I was more than that..." Steve replied. 

Bucky blinked slowly and turned his head away. That was true. He'd remembered that part as well. No one had ever known, but there was nothing to lose now, if anyone did. "Yeah..."

"You remember?" asked Steve. There was hesitation in his voice. He wasn't sure about this, and neither was Bucky. 

Bucky didn't respond immediately, unsure how to. So Steve spoke again. "I know you're nervous, and you have every reason to be... But I'm here to help you..."

Bucky swallowed thickly. "The UN... I didn't do that..."

"I know," Steve replied. "That's why I'm here. I've gotta get you out of here,"

Another moment passed of Bucky just standing there, his mind going a million miles an hour. Steve was right there. Right across the room. Bucky had almost thought that he'd never see Steve again except on TV. 

But here he was, so close and yet so far. Would he still want what they'd had before? Bucky didn't know, but nervous static sparked through his limbs with the desire to find out. But was he brave enough to do that? It had been so long...

Apparently, Steve could still read Bucky like an open book. He smiled gently. "It's okay, Buck... It's okay,"

Bucky looked up at Steve, something scared in his eyes. His metal fingers curled and uncurled; It was the only part of his body that didn't itch to touch Steve, and that bothered him. 

Yet one more moment passed, before Bucky took a deep breath, and moved around the table to approach Steve slowly. Steve remained where he was, waiting for Bucky to come to him. 

Soon enough, Bucky stood before Steve, nearly chest to chest with him. He was nervous, but Steve was steady; Confident and sure. This was okay with him. 

Steve's right hand slowly came up to hover near Bucky's cheek, his long hair occasionally brushing against Steve's fingers. He waited there, waited for Bucky to decide if he wanted this. 

And he did. But he still wasn't sure. About anything. Hadn't been for a long time. But he hesitantly reached up with both hands to grasp Steve's. Steve didn't flinch at the cold grip of Bucky's left hand. So Bucky held Steve's hand for a moment, before leaning in to press it to his cheek. 

Steve smiled and slowly ran his thumb over Bucky's skin. "It's good to see you again, Buck..."

Bucky smiled, too, just a bit, his eyes slipping closed as he relished the feeling of Steve's skin against his. "You, too..."

Still moving slowly, Steve mounted his shield onto his back, before reaching up with his other hand to hold Bucky's face. "I've missed you a lot..."

Bucky nodded. "I know..."

The truth was, he didn't know. He didn't know if Steve had missed him or if he'd moved on. Not until now, anyways. But it made sense. Bucky hadn't moved on. Why would Steve? They'd always been attached at the hip, nothing could change that. 

Not even this, it seemed. Not even everything Hydra did to Bucky could change the way Steve looked at him. As Bucky spoke, Steve laughed. "I looked for you, you know..."

Bucky grimaced. He wasn't sure if he was glad Steve had looked. Wasn't sure if he was glad Steve had found him. He wasn't the same... He was dangerous... He wasn't the Bucky that Steve lost on the train...

When Bucky didn't say anything, just scrunched his face, Steve became worried. "Buck? You okay?"

Bucky looked back up at Steve with something broken and hurting on his face. There was also something like anger there, too. "I'm not the same, Steve..."

"I don't care," Steve replied immediately. "You're still my Bucky. I still love you..."

Bucky's heart jumped at those words. He reached up to place his hands over Steve's. He still loved him, even after everything? Bucky almost couldn't process that. How? What did Steve see in him now? He didn't even feel like the same person. He felt like he'd lost every part of himself he knew he'd once had. 

"You're still my Bucky," Steve repeated. "I don't care what they did to you. I don't care how messed up you are. You remember me. Do you still feel the same?"

Bucky nodded, but said nothing. He didn't know what to. He didn't see anything worth loving in himself. He felt that everything Steve had once loved about him was gone...

"Then what's the problem?" asked Steve. "You're different, but you're still my Bucky. Always will be. Until the end of the line,"

Bucky couldn't stop the watery laugh that escaped him, then. "Damnit, Steve..."

Steve smiled. "It's okay, Buck. Maybe we're both different, but us? We haven't changed. Not as far as I'm concerned,"

Bucky smiled, honest to god smiled, and then leaned in slowly. He hesitated, waited for Steve to respond to this. He wasn't sure if they could just dive back into all this...

Steve seemed to think so. He closed the distance, and pressed his lips against Bucky's. Bucky pressed into it, too. 

It stared slow and sweet, but before they knew it, they were desperately pressing against each other. Eventually, Bucky pulled away, gasping softly. He felt just a little overwhelmed by this. He hadn't been touched in a long time. But this was good. Having back this little piece of his old self felt like heaven. 

"You're right..." Bucky mumbled, a smirk playing on his lips for the first time in forever. "We haven't changed..."


End file.
